Saturday, July 28, 2012

Why the HECK didn't I go to ROLLERCON

What the crap! It's 9am Saturday morning and I don't have coffee yet. My cat is sitting on my important papers watching me type. Thanks KITTY! My left leg is asleep, not still asleep, but RE asleep. I have poor circulation so they just do that. I hope to not have to cut one off one day AND now I hope I didn't just jinx myself into having to cut one off one day. Like that guy climbing mountains who ate his arm off.

My plans for the day are this... clean the kitchen, do laundry, work on my new craft room, go to a baby shower at 2, then come back home and do more work on craft room and Sunday the highlight of the whole day will be to hopefully FINISH the craft room.

I mean it is going to be a 'derby dream craft room' with a cutter, heat press, button maker, sewing machine and lots of glitter. LOTS OF SPARKLY THINGS. And a small puppet theater. A box of google eyes and a sh*t ton of felt. Okay, maybe not ALL derby girls dream of a puppet theater but this one does.

OH BUT GUESS THE HECK WHAT!?!?!? MY carpenter husband, who normally brings me coffee from Starbucks every morning is off in the woods working on a film project (The Blair Witch III?) and that is why I have no coffee but worse! WHO IS GONNA HELP ME BUILD MY PUPPET THEATER?... or should I say THEATRE and make it a "fancy" puppet theater?

Oh I can ask Dozer's husband Dizzy Zerby - he builds stuff - BUT WAIT!
HE IS AT ROLLERCON!!! WIIIIITH DOOOOOZER!!!!!!!!

ROLLERCON!!! WHAT THE HECK!
JUMPING QUADZILLAS  WHY AM INOT AT ROLLERCON!

How does this happen? I went to the first one! I even got the tattoo to prove it! I still skate! I like Las Vegas! I like pick up bouts! I like buying merch stuffs I don't really need! I like BUFFETS, swimming pools, staying up late, getting up early, more buffets, slot machines, more slot machines, and blinky lights and seeing skaters from all over that I love that i know will there. I like hanging out with fun people! Yet AGAIN! I didn't get tickets, I didn't make plans and now.... NOW WITH FANCY SMARTYPANTS SMART PHONES and THE FACEBOOKS!!! You freaking fancy outfit wearing - fun time happening - pick up bout playing fools are posting your FUNS and SHENANIGANS all over the Facebooks!

In years past I could just ignore the fun and good times but now! it's so super in MY FACE with happy good roller derby stuff times.

IN YOUR FACE BETTY FORD GALAXY!!!! IN  Y O U R  FACE! In your pretty, not a day over 32 pretty in purple hair and/or pink or what ever color you choose FACE! and in your painted up SPACE ACE, coolest glitter rollergirl face paint on the planet bout day coolness FACE!!!

IN YOUR FACE!

Yup there it is. In my face. And I am SOOOO SUPER DUPER DUPER regretting not going this year.



Thanks a lot ROLLERCON and happy ROLLERCON goers. This would be so much easier to ignore if I had no FACEBOOKS... but only losers don't have the Facebooks (until the new thing comes out and we all get that... well the next new good thing cuz the new Google + thing and circles is for the birds, circles make me dizzy.)

WHY!?! Why didn't I go?!?!? I have vacation time at work. I could have planned better and got a ticket  and flights a long time ago.

SO that is my plan for 2013. Dozer says you can get tickets for next years R-CON cheap right after this RollerCon. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to find a cheap flight soon and book it. Or maybe right after Christmas or something but soon. And a hotel and maybe a rent a car for a day to visit a friend who lives close. DUH! I COULD HAVE VISITED MY FRIEND TOO! DUUUUHHH!!!

OR I might volunteer to COACH next year and get in for free. Wait - I like that better. Who thinks I should coach there next year? I love coaching DUH! DUH! OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

Now I am even more mad at myself! I FRIGGIN LOVE COACHING! I could be there right now COACHING and skating on my new TINY ADONIS WHEELS and hanging out BLOWING PEOPLES MINDS with my awesome costumes and bouting in pick up bouts and buying cool shwag I DON'T EVEN NEED!!! AND COACHING cool stuff to people! - what was I thinking???

Holy heck BAT MAN! Next year I need a better plan.

2013 BFG IS GOING TO ROLLERCON!




4 comments:

  1. And in true BFG style I just spend an hour writing a blog instead of doing the dishes..

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  2. Please fell free to leave comments and to RESHARE my blog...

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  3. This may hurt, but I'm going to tell you anyhow. So far this week I've seen two different skaters here about your size with bright pink hair, and both times I suddenly felt happy - there's BFG! - and then suddenly sad when I realized the truth.

    Oh, and I think the puppet theater idea is awesome.

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  4. Both weeks sound like heaven to me. This year was my first rollercon (and in 5 years of doing derby, that's k-razy!) and it was overwhelming and awesome. Next year, my friend, next year.

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