MUSTARD - if you want to stay on my good side you DO NOT eat mustard anywhere near me. Seriously. I hate it. HATE IT. Hate cilantro, hate mayo, hate olives, cucumbers, kale, ketchup, teriyaki, sweet and sour, all sea food, lamb, all shell fish, mushrooms, etc etc etc etc etc. I also don' like to cmbine foods. Like I like apple sauce and I like pork chops but I would NEVER eat them together. I love cranberry and I love turkey but I WOULD NEVER EAT THEM TOGETHER!!! And if you want to stay on my good side you better NOT put fruit in my Thanksgiving stuffing.
On the flip side... pretty much if it's sugar. I love it. Ice creams. Cookies. Cakes. Pixie stix. ETC YUMMY.
I cave to my yummy. I had a deal with my bro in law. Last Thanksgiving he dared me to lose 20 pounds and gave me a date to lose it by. He then was going to TWEET a pic of me in a bikini on the day. April 21st. I did it - I worked out super hard. I had a goal and I did it. It was good motivation. My brother in law is Joel McHale and he has 2.5 million twitter followers.
Then after April life got hard. I no longer had that same motivation and the tweet wasn't enough to keep me on the same track. I am not sure why. Something inside me said that I was not worth it. I literally started to eat Ben and Jerrys every night and pizza rolls. I have to figure out the real reasons I eat. Why the heck did I spend 5 months losing weight only to spend 3 months to gain it back. Do the math on that. It sucks. I gained it back in about half the time it took to lose. Dang it!!! I did it. ME - all me. So the part that stays the same is me. I proved I can lose the weight. I proved I could be fit. Then I let it go.
I have to find that inner motivation. I have to remember that I am worthy of being fit.
I was coaching the Seattle Derby Brats at the NW JR Tournament and I saw a photo of me. How could I let that FIT FUCKING AWESOME BETTY become FAT SLOPPY EMBARRASSING FAT COACH BETTY? I do NOT want to be that. I do NOT want the kids I coach to think that is acceptable. It is not. I am 41 years old. I am too young and awesome to be pudgy AND AND AND 90% of my weight is stored in my chin. GOD I MISS MY NECK! I go chin to chest. NO FRIGGIN NECK! so sad. How dumb. I am just thinking WTF did I do?!?!?
Look at me! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!
These two photos were both taken this year. Yes the team photo is on a black background but dang! Look at my arms! Look at my CHIN! Look at my Buddha belly.
DO NOT RUB FOR GOOD LUCK!
I am only 5'3" - so when I gain or lose 15 pounds its A LOT.
I don't ever feel like I want to be a super model. I just want to be my best. I just want to be fit.
So, this fatty is off to the store to get more veggies. I just bought a juicer last week. GAME ON!
July 2012
Feb? I think 2012
HOLD THE PHONE! NO COFFEE ON A JUICE CLEANSE!!!!
Oh really now... Is this even possible?
**note** please don't say - you look GREAAAAT! Don't be so HAAAARD on yourself! You have CUUUUURVES! - This current body does NOT make me happy, healthy or a good example. It does NOT help my derby, my life or work (all my nice office clothes are too small).
CHANGE HAPPENS HERE
The past is the past. Please don't beat yourself up. It doesn't help you and it doesn't help those you lead. I've been on this journey for 6.5 months. It's about doing what is sustainable. Diets don't work, but permanent changes do. Every choice I make to work out and what I eat...before I do it/eat it...I ask myself "Does this get me a step closer to my goal...or does this help me maintain what I want to be?" I wish you all the best. If you need a buddy in this journey, feel free to hit me up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and your honesty, Betty! That sugar is a mean, evil foe! It is kind of like I am an alcoholic with it or something. I can stay away from it for a while then, boom, one friggin' cookie! I am off the wagon!
ReplyDeleteKeep on, keepin' on!
-Victor
The Mayor of Alki
I don't know shit about fitness, roller derby, your body type, self-confidence, etc. But I do know a little about photography, and 50% of the difference between the two photos is your posture. In the July photo you're on flats and slouching. In the February photo you're on skates, with shoulders back and chest out. I'm just saying, if you're gonna do a comparison based on photos, it's only fair if it's apples to apples. I know that's probably exactly the kind of "excuse" you don't want to hear, but I'm posting it anyhow, because it's true.
ReplyDeleteThey just happened to be two photos in the same outfit. Trust me the scale and my neck also show a difference. My clothes do not fit. My allergies are worse. Etc.
ReplyDeleteI am not looking for pity or advice. I am not looking for something to agree or disagree. I don't need to be told I am awesome or I suck. I am just sharing my story.
Hi Betty:
ReplyDeleteRead this.
http://drhyman.com/blog/2011/02/04/stopping-addiction-to-sugar-willpower-or-genetics/
It's a good article that speaks to some of what you are going through and might help you. Or maybe you already know this stuff, but learning the science behind something can sometimes help.
This also looks interesting: http://www.thefix.com/content/spoonful-sugar-makes-sobriety-go-down?page=all
-C
Betty, you can do it! Just give yourself the time to melt those pounds off. You didn't gain them over night and you sure won't lose them that fast either. Good for you for committing to a juice cleanse; just make sure that afterwards what you put into your body is 'clean fuel' and keep the processed yummy treats to a minimum. With balance and regular exercise I'm sure you will get back into the shape you are comfortable with. Best wishes on your journey :)
ReplyDeleteI use http://caloriecount.about.com and it's been an effective tool for weight loss.
ReplyDelete